After breaking up with a girlfriend, one of my kids said sadly “I just don’t know how to be romantic”. This surprised me, as I had witnessed the genuinely thoughtful and loving ways in which they had engaged in nurturing the relationship.
This set me thinking about how we see “love” being expressed these days: the very public marriage proposals (choreographed months in advance, then posted on social media)… the gestures that involve surprise celebrity appearances… not one bunch of flowers but a room full…
I realise that the bar for what we call “love” seems to have been raised very high – impossibly high, or at least unsustainably high.
To tell the truth, I appreciate grand demonstrations of love and affection as much as the next girl, but in my experience (I’m beginning to think I qualify as ‘experienced’ now that I’ve been with my partner for over 30 years!), it’s learning to see the love in the small, everyday interactions that allows relationships to flourish, deepen and grow.
You may be surprised at what has helped most in being able to see and appreciate those little things! It’s believing that I am loved… full stop. Gestures are optional… appreciated…, but not required. This belief allows me to see past any absence of gestures. It allows me to see the love in the fact that my partner comes home each night, that he will walk with me when I know he would rather run, that he will listen to me even when he doesn’t necessarily understand (or agree with) what I’m talking about. A gesture then becomes simply the icing on the cake.
So… this Valentines Day… maybe I will receive a card, or flowers… maybe I won’t. Either way, I’m good.
“The reality of your being is that you are loveable” Louise Hay, Heart Thoughts